Part I
In D.H. Lawrence’s The Rainbow, Lawrence
characterizes the woman as an ambitious woman who seeks to leave the simplicity
of farm life and enter into a world that to her, is magical in that in this
world, one’s ambition is fulfilled. In order to establish this situation,
Lawrence contrasts the woman’s view of the men of the simple world and men of
the magical world by employing polysyndeton to slow the pacing and add emphasis
to descriptive words, parallel structure to establish the contrast between the
two types of men, and rhetorical question to show the woman’s ultimate decision
of the dominance of the vicar’s magical world.
Lawrence utilizes polysyndeton to
slow the pacing of the passage and add emphasis to the descriptive words in
order to establish contrasting descriptions of the two types of men. The
simplistic men are characterized by the “warmth and generating and pain and
death” that they knew from ‘their blood, earth and sky, and beast, and green
plants” (7-9). By using polysyndeton, Lawrence emphasizes the negative diction
associated with the simplistic men, such as “pain” and “death”. In contrast,
Lawrence describes the vicar, an example of a man who exists in the magical
world, as a man who is “dark and dry and small beside [the woman’s] husband
[but he] had yet a quickness and a range of being that made Brangwen… seem dull
and local” (48-50). Lawrence employs polysyndeton to emphasize the diction that
creates the contrast between the two men. The woman acknowledges that even though
the magical man was “dark and dry and small”, he is still better than her
husband. This shows that the woman is deeply unsatisfied with her current
situation, and is ambitious in that she emphasizes the magical life over
reality. She strives for a place where her ambitions can be fulfilled, where
the weak can hold the authority.
Lawrence also uses parallelism to
create contrast between the two types of men, in the opinion of the woman. For
instance, the woman observes that “as Brangwen had power over the cattle so the
vicar had power over her husband” (52-54). Lawrence uses parallel structure to
show that the vicar, or the magical man, is dominant over her husband, the
simplistic man, by using parallelism to compare the power held by each man.
Whereas the husband has power over animals, the vicar has power over other men.
This serves to show that the woman perceives the life of the vicar to be
superior to that of her husband, and through him, superior to hers. Thus, the
woman, who is inherently ambitious, strives to attain the magic of the vicar’s
world.
Lawrence also uses rhetorical
questions to show the woman’s ultimate decision that the magical vicar was
dominant to that of her husband’s. She asked why the vicar’s “soul was master
of [her husband’s]” (64-65), and that “she decided it was a question of
knowledge” (165). By using a rhetorical question, Lawrence shows that the woman
is set in her decision that the way of life of the vicar is dominant over her
husband’s and through him, her way of life. It also shows that because the
woman is questioning why the vicar is better, that she envies him, and wishes
for a life similar to his and the fact that she identified the reason for his
dominance shows that she has found the path that she must travel to achieve her
ambition, which is “knowledge”. Therefore, she strives to elevate her life from
that of a life like the simplistic farmer to a life like that of the magical
vicar.
Part II
My peer grader, Sam, gave me an initial essay score of 7.
She scored my essay this way because it demonstrated a “reasonable analysis” of
the text, lacking the persuasion and perceptiveness necessary for it to be
scored as an 8 or 9 essay. On the other hand, I did well in that my essay
included “attention to a variety of literary devices” such as polysyndeton,
parallelism, and rhetorical questions, which allowed for a more “competent”
essay. In addition, I was able to “present [my] ideas with clarity and control”
as well as “refer to the text for support”. I definitely agree with this score.
I believe that my essay was competent, but not as insightful as what is
necessary to achieve an 8 or a 9. I neither mentioned nor fully discussed the
deeper complexity of the passage, which inhibited my essay’s analysis. I agree
that I did well supporting my ideas with literary devices and textual support,
but I also agree these ideas never formed an insightful, coherently persuasive
essay. In my opinion, my essay was far from perfect, but will provide an
excellent foundation to begin improving my abilities to analyze prose passages.
The best way to improve my essay, in my opinion, would be to
better address the complexities found in the passage. For instance, complexity
is developed in the text due to the fact that the passage does not completely
correlate with Lawrence’s belief of “blood knowledge”. In his concept of “blood
knowledge”, Lawrence shunned intellect and morality in favor of the flesh, in
which what “our blood feels and believes and says, is always true”. Therefore,
the fact that the woman believes that the difference between the simplistic
life of the farmer and the elevated life of the vicar lies in the pursuit of
knowledge, an action that the theory of blood-knowledge would have rejected. At
the same time, the woman is inherently ambitious: always looking off into a
distant world where life would be better, and she would be envious of it, in
that it fueled her “deepest desire”. Thus, her struggle to achieve knowledge
would be instinctual because a deeply held desire is not determined by reason
or thought; rather, it is determined by beliefs of the flesh. Thus, the
complexity lies in the paradox that develops because of her use of the flesh as
a medium of achieving knowledge, which does not correspond with Lawrence’s
theory of “blood knowledge”. So, in retrospect, even though I was not aware of
Lawrence’s theory while writing this essay, there is still a distinct contrast
between the flesh and knowledge in the passage. I think it was time
mismanagement and lack of organization that prevented me from determining the
complexity in my initial essay. I was still trying to figure it out while
writing my essay, where I should have determined the complexity beforehand.
Another way to improve my essay would be to follow the
advice of 5 Steps to a 5, which
recommended that we “isolate two quotations that strike you” to help establish
an opening and conclusion. I began my essay with my thesis and I didn’t even
include a conclusion. Having a lacking opening and conclusion is especially detrimental
because it inhibits a connection with the essay’s reader. The opening is the
grader’s first impression of you essay, and the conclusion is the grader’s last
impression to the essay. Therefore, it is important to craft and opening and
conclusion that enhances the essay. In addition, the opening is essential to
establishing the “tone and direction” of the essay, and the conclusion will
reinforce this idea. Having a central tone and direction will create a more
clear analysis and a more effective organization. In the future, it would be a
good idea to follow 5 Steps to a 5’s
advice and try to isolate two important quotes to create an opening and a
conclusion. I believe that this would enhance both the coherency and the
persuasion of my essay.
In addition, I could improve my essay by adding transitions
between paragraphs, which is advice offered by 5 Steps to a 5. The first sentence of every body paragraph in my initial
essay is a sentence that restates the idea I presented concerning an individual
literary device from my thesis. This is very generic way to start a new
paragraph, and it can prevent both “persuasive analysis” and “writing that is
clear and effectively organized”. Effective transitions provide a sense of
coherency and organization that provides a structure for the analysis. In order
to improve the transitions to my initial essay, I would follow the advice of 5 Steps to a 5, and either “use the
repetition of key idea from the opening paragraph” or use “echo words” to craft
an intro that isn’t just a restatement of the thesis, but rather one that fosters
the persuasive nature of the prose essay.
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